Malaysians Against Uncivilized Online Citizens

There have been a lot of venting lately in social media among Malaysians - in Facebook, Twitter, online newspapers, blogs, etc. Two major unhappy campers are one side who feels cheated while another who  feels betrayed (I'll leave this to your own interpretations). A lot of name callings and intolerant responses between strangers too (yours truly was recently conferred with the title Dr. Kankong for having a negative opinion against street revolution). It made me wonder- Malaysians are infamous with uncivilized drivers. Are we becoming uncivilized online citizens too?

Recently, a friend of mine uncharacteristically made an inappropriate comment with a reference to a certain part of male's body to a religious celebrity who practices polygamy. My friend was then chastised by hundreds of the loyal online followers of the ustaz. My friend later apologized and made a revealing statement something along this line - "if you've seen your mom crying every night because your dad has someone else, you'd understand." Bersangka baik or to give the benefit of the doubt is stressed in Islam, and I'm sure in other religions too. But why is it so hard for us to have empathy - understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives?

My friend's story reminded me of another story from Stephen Covey's The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. The author was in a commuter train on a peaceful Sunday morning when another man and his children entered the train. The children were yelling, throwing things, even grabbing people's newspapers. It was very disturbing. And yet, the father did nothing. The author then turned to the father and said, "Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn't control them a little more?" The father lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, "Oh, you're right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don't know what to think, and I guess they don't know how to handle it either."

I'm not going to expand on the importance of paradigm shift or character ethics. Stephen Covey has done that in his book. My point is we need to realize that people see things differently, each looking through unique lens of background and experience. The next time before you lashing out to a stranger online, stop and think hard why he or she thinks or acts differently than you do.